Flicker of Flame

It was raining; he feels the water splash his teary face. He was soaking wet yet he didn't give a damn care. All he think about now is his lost...
It's been a week when he heard the news about John; he doesn't believe it. He knew him. Or he thought he knew him. Thoughts ran on his mind; the kiss... the betrayal... their friendship.

"John, why do you care? You told me you won't give a damn look at me after all what I have told you. Now you came back here to ask for an explanation?! Don't say you came here because you pity me! I don't need your sympathy! Please leave me."

He just stood there; helpless... caught on the whirl on why he even bother to see Gabriel. He himself don't know why; it's as if his feet dragged him there.

"I... I don't know. I felt that you need a companion in times like this. We're still friends right?"
"Friends? You told told me that you regret knowing me. You hated me for what I am. You don't understand me."

Gabriel turned his back on him, turning to leave. All he wanted is to ran away. Away from John... They have been friends for so long, now he sees him as a complete stranger.
When he was about to move his feet, he felt something warm embrace him. John's arms blanketed him. He felt secured. He felt love. Then tears flow on his eyes. Tears of pain caused him to hold on to John's arms. The pain of his mistakes...

"Gabriel, it's my fault. I should have accepted you. I should have accepted your love for me. I still hope its not yet over for us."
"You don't understand John. After all the embarassment, they would just send me away to save their faces. They can't let me stay here anymore."
"Then let's go somewhere else. Away from here! We can live together! I know we'll be happy with each other."
"I have already decided... I'll go. I cannot anymore stand this. You are causing me further pain!"

Gabriel took the arms of John off and ran away. He can't believe him. No, it's no true. It can't be. He can't love him... He's just confused, mistaking pity for love... He knows his decision is right. It's time for him to do something right. He failed his parents, he failed himself. Now, it's his turn to listen to his family.

John left his friend's house. At first he took the slow painful steps to the door; yet he can't bear the pain anymore. He ran... running makes it less painful; the faster he moves the faster he could shrug the pain off. He knows that's the last time he could see Gabriel.

Why he took so long to realize? Gabriel's kiss caused him fear. But it's the kiss he's been longing all this time. He even rejected Gabriel for that. He feared that people around him would not accept it. He must be upright, he must protect himself. He have to reject Gabriel because to love a guy is not him. But the more he think about it, the more he yearns for that kiss again. The more he desire for his friend. Then the news came out the Gabriel went to the open; his family was shocked and felt embarassed. They planned to send him abroad. When he heard it, he felt that he can't bear to lose Gabriel. Then he realized how much Gabriel meant to him...

He doesn't believe himself. He thought he knew himself...

John stopped, he looks at the night sky; then one by one the cold drops of rain fell on his face; the same time his tears flow on his cheeks...