Letter from Death

Macky's room won't be appearing today, instead, i'll be publishing a letter from someone.

****

You probably won't realize who am I until we meet at the end. Yeah, I meet all people in the end of their lives. And oh, I don't bring the end to everybody, I always come when it's nearly over, and take the souls away for their final journey as scheduled. I know my job is hard, I haven't had a coffee break ever since human population exploded. That's what I'm asking for! A reliever. But no one in heaven or in hell would ever volunteer. They just don't like it. So good old me have to stay on the job, criss-crossing the earth to pick up souls.

Halloween is tonight and I could see the funny human perception of me. I'm not skull and bones! How could I carry millions of humans if I'm not muscular?! My bones would break if I won't go to gym. And the scythe thing, I don't carry one. I have no use for it, but I kind of like it as my accessory. This grim reaper look is not good for my image at times. One more, I only use black coat during winter. I wear cargo pants and a sando at the tropics.

Anyway, others are foolish enough to call me. But of course I won't come unless it's really your schedule. Sometimes I meet people who survive; they could smell me I know it. They're survivors, and I know they will live. But these humans haunt me. Why? Sometimes I see them as my failure. I should be able to pick them up, but for sudden reasons, the heaven cancelled their departure. The looks in their eyes saying they have cheated me, I hate it. But for me, these people haunt me more by realizing the real and deep meaning of me. Death. The last enemy that would be conquered is me. Yeah, I know. To struggle and win against me is to accept me. And these survivors know it. The next time I pick them, they would look straight to me and taunt me on my failure before.

Happy Halloween humans. You may never know when we'll meet, I myself don't know when. Only when the time comes we'll know. Til then live your lives to the full...

Regressions

My health is failing ever since last week. It all started with me plunging into a high fever last monday, succumbing to headaches, anorexia (I even start to throw-up at the sight of food), and insomnia, and three days ago an inflamed tonsil and, this morning, itchy rashes all over my body. I'm in the at the other end of the health continuum, not really the opposite end --- cause that's death already --- well, a few steps backward maybe.

As we get sick, we have the tendency to regress. Yeah, I regressed and I regressed a lot. Somehow, I'm starting to look up again to older people to take charge of my affairs, a change from being a completely independent me. I started to feel left out, sometimes even helpless, without them. My sister left for Manila this afternoon, and I miss her now. I feel comfortable with her around. And on this trying times, she was here to support me. Now, I'm left with my younger siblings here in Tarlac, and I'm completely in charge of them.

So much for this life, I don't know where I'm heading and now, I'm even dying...

****

Last saturday, I went to a hospital near CM Recto Avenue to have a check-up. I went to their out-patient department where the nurse shallowly interviewed me (he can't even spell my name right). Then after the hocus-pocus, they asked me to wait for the doctor. Time is ticking fast, and then I was already waiting for an hour for the good doctor when the nurses remembered me (yeah, they're just playing with the BP apparatus all the while). They called the doctor at the intercom and they were told to order me to have complete blood count and a urinalysis! Aaaarrgh! The doctor haven't seen me yet, he started to order tests already to buy time (I was thinking he might have ESP). I want to have the CBC, but what's the relation of the urinalysis to my throat? I don't pee from my mouth! When the nurse told me to have the tests, she was very professional and authoritative (so much for being patient's advocate). My throat was so painful I can't yell at them, which is very fortunate for them. I was getting ballistic so I walked out of the damn hospital.

The Lake House

Yesterday, I left Manila and went into vacation here in Central Luzon (I'll be back by November). I guess a sudden change of scenery would be helpful while I recuperate from this illness. When I arrived here at our house in Tarlac, all I could say was, "Damn! I'm right!". I started to breathe easier, and no more throwing up of food. Though my tonsils haven't reduced their sizes yet, at least the air helps me, especially in the morning --- it's cold and fresh. I really love our place here.

***

This afternoon, my sister and I found a DVD copy of "The Lake House" reuniting Keanu Reeves and my favorite Sandra Bullock ever since the blockbuster Speed. It was shown last year, and I really have the urge to watch it, not only because I love Keanu (and my boyfriend resembles like him), but because I have seen the trailer. But for reasons I can't remember, I failed to.

Well, the story was very interesting because of the time component. Keanu, named as Alex Wyler, who was still living at the year 2004 and Sandra, as Dr. Kate, was in the present (2006) exchanges letters when the former moved in to the lake house his father built. They became friends and then lovers. Much of a typical penpals or long-distance relationships, but seeing Keanu's eyes flash, you would really want them ending up with each other. The movie made a strong impact on me because that's how my present relationship with my boyfriend started and went on. Yeah, we're chatmates and we became close friends til we discovered we're starting to love each other. And to tell you honestly, if our experiences would be made into Hollywood and shown against The Lake House, our movie would completely trample the other, and even win Oscars. Why? Because our story is more dramatic, though it hasn't reached its end yet.
The Lake House gave me hope in waiting. Alex Wyler waited for 4 years to meet Dr. Kate Forster. How long do I also have to wait? When Alex at last saw Kate in his time, he hastily ran across the street and got hit by a bus. But Kate realizing everything, told him to wait so he could live. So in the past he turned back and waited. And after years, they met at the lake house and started a new life together. Anyway, if you're thinking of watching it again or for the first time, never hesitate. Aside from Keanu being gorgeous, the story is really good. Besides, it's my story too...

Halloween Suggestions

Have you ever felt that the usual Halloween costume parties are not good enough? Spending most of your time these days wrestling with your brain to come up with a creative idea? Costumes don't scare people out of their wits, removing the very essence of halloween, that is to frigthen people. So here' s my few halloween party suggestion that would definitely make your party-goers dread the next halloween party you'll throw.

1. Invite all your friends and acquaintances. And don't forget to include their most hated nemesis (the ones they would glad enough to stick a fork with). Distribute the guest list having the names of your friends so they won't suspect the surprise. When the party starts, announce that there is a seating arrangement and they would be sitting with their enemies. Then have parlor games --- see your friends and their enemies relay calamansi or eggs (relay or throw each one?). Don't forget to have paramedics around.

2. Prepare lots of food. And have your guests eat til they can't move. When they're full, bring out a ----- a preacher! (the ones who board the bus when traffic is hellish at EDSA). And pass envelopes around, not for donations, but for the bill of the caterer.

3. Tell everyone to bring their best foot forward on the dance floor. When all are about to dance, change the music to songs sang by Imelda herself. Anyone who will leave the dance floor will be considered a kill-joy.

4. Gather your guests and announce before they could feast the food, they have to pass -- a quiz!

5. Announce to the whole town that you'll be having the grandest halloween party in town. When people start flocking your place, tell them that they were misinformed.

hmmm... Unspeakable horror --- that's the theme. Gone are the days when adults have to wear costumes.
If you have some gruesome ideas for this halloween, share it here.

Convalescing still from my illness

Three days ago, I was hit by a sudden rise of temperature accompanied by joint pains and pounding headache. I lost my appetite and didn't eat much. When I stand, I'm in the verge of falling out of balance so I have to hold on to the railings or place my hands on the walls for support. I can't even sleep properly. I lost weight and I feel so malnourished. I was in a pitiful state actually.

Anyway, now I'm back, still with little headache, I'll try to resume again my blog's activity. For all my readers thank you very much!

The Promise

It's dawn. He promised me. I know he'll be here.

Ten months ago, Caleb and John were enlisted to fight in the war in Europe. They're friends when since grade school. However in high school, things changed. John felt differently for Caleb. It was more than friendship. He denied that it was love. But it was a miserable denial. He love him.

Then the war broke out. All reserves were called. And they found themselves crossing the Atlantic to fight a war. It's the most unexpected place were love will blossom.

One time in their camp, John asked Caleb to walk around the forest. He misses his home. His family. Yet with Caleb around, he felt most secured. But the loneliness escapes him. In his faces, lines of agony and hope are obvious. He was sad for being away, yet happy to be with the man he truly loves; only that he can't tell Caleb everything. He don't want him to be distracted with him.

As they walk, he felt Caleb's arms swing towards his hip. Wrapping around him. Tightly.

He was surprised with the expression of affection and he looked at Caleb. Their eyes met, and he know what those of eyes Caleb say. No need to speak. It's all there.

Caleb inched closer to him, pressed his body on him. He's warm. He's manly scent reaches him.

In the middle of the dark woods, Caleb softly touches John's lips with his.

"I love you John." Caleb said.

The words are eternal. In the silence of the forest, John felt like bells clang. It was a moment he had always dreamed of. He closed his eyes as he kisses the lips he always longed for. The warmth of it took away all his anxieties. He is free.

Outweighed by the other, they fell onto the grass. The breeze was cold. Yet he's flushing. It's like he's having fever. There's no hesitation. No limits. It's love. Love stored for each for so long. And now it's finally expressed.

After it all, they fell asleep. John embraced Caleb tightly. The other reciprocated.

It is not the sun that woke the camp. It was the shots.

Men are called to assemble. The enemies are around. The lieutenant decided to break the group. One will deceive, the other will attack at the rear. As all love stories are torn asunder, the two were separated. John was grouped with attackers. Caleb with the decoys.

At the commencement of the plan, Caleb reached for John and handed him a white rose. "John, your love is pure. I'll come back for you. I promise. Wait for me." And he left.

The fighting went on. Nobody came back. No more regrouping. All was lost. Yet John survived.

He waited. He waited at the place where they did their love. But no Caleb came.

For months, he looked for Caleb. Still no news of him. But he know he'll be back. He can't die. He just can't.

Tired, he went back to the woods. Now all hope is gone. But he can't resist going back. He wanted to smell the scent Caleb might have left. Unmistakably, he smelled it. He's here! But where? He shouted his name. The name of Caleb echoed through the woods, answering him.

Then someone touched him. It was him. John wanted to be angry. For all the waiting. For worrying too much. Yet the peaceful look of Caleb took him. He was calmed.

Without speaking Caleb kissed him again. The last kiss.

"I came back for you. I have fulfilled my promise. John I love you. But this is the end. The end for me. Not for you."

Then he hugged him. John felt the tears flowing from his lover's eyes. John can't move. Then he fell.

The heat of the sun woke him up. It was all a dream. Yet the scent is there. The grasses are unusually soft. But no, it was not the grass. It was roses. White roses.

An Ode to Life

I have already conceived my post for today before I heard news of Glorietta bombing. Frankly, I was about to post something about "Death" (as a Halloween special). But now, it's more prudent to talk about life is it?

Within days we have heard of blasts (here and abroad) , not just any kind of explosion, but with purpose of sowing fear and terror, a design to suit one's vested interests.
People's lives were lost, families mourn, and the perpetrators still roam our lands. Life is precious, as we always have said. To take a life is in great violation of nature. To take lives for selfish reasons is unforgivable.

Life is owned individually; that is, every life has its story, has music of its own. A sudden lost of life is like ears going shut. A complete silence. Then the horror follows.

Let me end my post today with a little poem:

Ode To Life

Life as have been given
Would also have to be returned
For it is man's natural task
To nurture it. To protect it.

O Life, you're so precious
Yet, others just don't see it
A candle was lit
Others go out. Slowly. Sudden.

A chase without end
A shell dropped to the sea
Life is also the same
When someone losses it.

See? What God has given us
A single term of life
So much to learn from
So much to experience.

For all of us here
Be thankful, be grateful
By living it beautifully
Giving life to you has its worth.

Zambales Weekend: the Beach and the Sun

We arrived at Pundaquit around noon and we immediately ate our lunch in the cottage because we're too excited to bathe in the sea. One of my friends have never been to beach before. Anyway, the coastline of the barangay is crowded with visitors, some of them are foreigners, hence less privacy. My friend suggested that we go to another part of the coast that is isolated by the mountains.

After an hour we boarded the boats and headed to that beach. It was like 30-minute ride. From the sea you could see the outlines of the mountains in Zambales and also some of the waterfalls emptying to the sea. The waves crushing against the boat gave us a shower, with me already tasting the salty seawater.

Nobody could stop us in rushing to the sea after we have settled our things beneath the pine trees (yes, there are pine trees there, i don't know why.) The hot sand could already fry an egg, but the water is really cool.

After an hour of splashing and playing in the water and the sand, we went back under the shade. I was really thirsty and asked where the drinks are when we learned that we have left it in Pundaquit (I have drank so much seawater I got so thirsty). It was like having a malignant fever actually. The hot sun and beach combined with thirst.

Then my friend told us that there is a stream at the foot of the mountains.

We went there and found the water clear but with striders. I was so thirsty that I wanted to drink it. But when I saw beneath the water are rocks full of molds, I just contended myself splashing in the icy water. We seated at the middle of the stream in a circular manner. Then one of my friends got a rock below and used it as panghilod. Yeah, I envied him and followed him. After a while all of us were using the stones as panghilod.

We boarded the boats before sunset. As we traversed the dancing waves, the sun is slowly drifting down the horizon (my friend was so afraid that the boat would topple sideway she became stiff). It was a beautiful sight. I have never seen such a beautiful sunset before. Yeah, sunset in Manila Bay is good; but how can you appreciate it with toxic gases from Roxas Blvd killing your lungs or covering your nose from the odor?

Anyway, no need to explain further, the pictures are enough right?

Whew! A good shower in the resort took me almost an hour because every part of my body is covered with sand. Yeah, you have guessed right, even my ass have sand.

It was an unforgettable experience. You should go there too. You're life won't be complete without it.

Note: I'm starting to think I'm obsessive-compulsive (lol). It took me more than an hour to post this and lay-out these pics. hope you like them.

Pinoy Gay Blogs and Getting Tagged!

Pinoy Gay Blogs...

I'm glad that a Filipino community of gay bloggers was created. Pinoy Gay Blogs is a directory of blog sites run and managed by gays. I'm very much interested in joining it so as I could be one with people with same interests, much so express my support for all gay bloggers.

I'm adding a link to Pinoy Gay Blogs and Manila Gay Guy so that you can access them from here.

And to all my fellow gay bloggers, hope you could find time to feature the community and much more, join it.

Aside from those at the sidebars, here are the links:
Pinoy Gay Blogs
Manila Gay Guy

***

Macky: I'm Tagged!

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog! (with my sincerest apologies, I won't follow the second set of instructions)

1. Weirdest thing I did in high school: My crush and I became textmates; only that I pretended as a girl. I believe he really fell for it as I fell in love with him more deeply. Of course, it didnt prosper. He's too straight.

2. Subject where I flopped in College: Mandarin

3. Ambitions to accomplish that are completely away from my career: to direct an indie film or write an action-thriller fiction novel

4. I'm insomniac.

5. I can move around for 24 hours without eating (except that I'll suffer with blurry vision and a pounding headache)

6. Longest relationship: 10 months and it ended with kaput

7. Current status: complicated (a cross-match of single and married)

Whew! I know i can't contain myself in 7 items; if I did, then there's no need for me to write my blog. Anyway, thanks ester for tagging me.

To Kevin (wherever you are...)

As the fiery sun soaks itself to the horizon
Feel me as I wrap my 'round you
As we behold the darkness swallow the light
the stars I have promised start to show themselves

To end all fears and loneliness
Fate let you find me
It was a gift, a twist in my monotony
And all things were never the same
A life of despair was consoled

Yes, I've never been happy as this
I'm prepared to go at any length
Just to let your lips feel my longing for you

Never let go of you again

But life does not give away so easily
Still, I have lost you in the darkness
Yet in my heart I can hear your whisper
A cry of love, a scream of pain

If we're not really meant for each other
I would still stand behind you
Waiting for your happiness
A comfort against my agony

But who are we to defy our fate
If all the world would go against us
Even making this life hard for us
To fight til the end will be my stand

To wait til this heart of mine rot
and my soul taken away to eternity.

Zambales Weekend: Home of Arts and Culture

My friend toured us in the school where he learned to play violin, CASA San Miguel.

When we entered the school, we passed through hundreds of big mango trees. It's like the place was deserted because the front part of the area is full of trees and grasses, and appears to be poorly maintained. Anyway, at the center of the yard lies a big house. It looks old on the side, yet you can see the rennovations made (unpainted cement posts amidst the typical Filipino wood floorings and wall with capiz windows). It's the home of the resident-artists --- painters, musicians, etc.

At the back part of the building, another building is constructed --- the gallery hall.

When we entered the hall, we saw the artists working on their canvasses and fully focused on their arts. There are other paintings on display there.

At the outer lawn, we found the outdoor theater. My friend said that there is also an amphitheater on the back part, only that its covered by grasses already.

When we went inside the house, we can't help but express our awe on the place. The place has a music hall on the ground floor, while on the third and fourth floors are reserved as living space for its occupants.

The house is spacious and very conducive for artists to concentrate on their craft. Outside large trees provide shade, while birds nesting there provide the music. The air blowing in the area is cold and fresh.

Yearly, a festival of arts is being held in Pundaquit. There masters of arts and culture flock the area for music perfomances, art galleries, kite-flying and others.

The school is also free to those who are willing to learn from the masters.

Truly, CASA San Miguel brought the heritage of arts and culture to the typical Pinoy.

Paradise not yet lost...

As I was looking at the mountains of Zambales, especially along the coasts, I was thinking, how long will these trees last? On the way there, I saw a single mountain, brown with no trees ---- completely bald. When we reached the shore, the water is crystal clear; as compared to the Pasig river or Manila bay where the water is jet black with floating garbages.


Still the question is there, how long will these paradise stay?

With so much of our forests being destroyed or maimed to pulp and seas becoming reservoirs of human wastes and garbages, one can't stop to think and ponder on the survival of these remaining wonders. Look at them closely and print it on our minds, because we may never know how fast the disease and malice will spread to them.

Alas, humans are, by laziness and by greed, are compulsive. We cut down trees to gain and pollute waters because we don't have a properly designed garbage treatment facilities. And it's all because of greed and laziness.

For decades, we have agreed to act. But there's no concrete action being taken. Still we are governed by lust for resources and others, money. We have seen so much, suffered too much, yet we never learn. Worse, people sometimes even deny it. "All is right" so they say.

Sometimes I myself fail to see how my actions affect my surroundings. We think of our acts as miniscule in proportion to have an effect. A small violation won't kill anyway.


Now, we have to reverse that thinking.

We should do small things everyday to help our environment. No matter how small it is, it's still an act. Yeah, we have tons of papers and laws that intends to clean and protect Mother Nature, but did those work? It's just an intention anyway. Just a desire. And most of us still are comfortable and doing nothing. "I have money, I live in a high-rise condo, everything's okay."

We, as people who are dependent to our surroundings, must learn to give back. To return the care given to us.

I just hope the sceneries that I have seen could last to the time when the threat is gone. When my grandchildren's grandchildren could still marvel on them.

Whew! Got back over Zambales weekend...

Just arrived home tonight. I've spent my weekend at Zambales with my friends. It was really tiring but at the same time exciting. I'll post the details and more pics in the next few days. (I already dedicated a post tomorrow, October 15, to the Blog Action Day organizers.)
When I checked my blog, I was really surprised to read your comments.


Thanks Dipdeep, Ester, Sardonicnell and especially Tiggahtigz!

Raredog79, thanks for adding me at "Sikat ang Websayt Ko" Community.

Birthday wish...

I asked myself, turning 21 today, what could be my wish? Of course, one thing flashed through my mind. Not a perfect, but just a healthy relationship. (also, I wish Kevin will be back from his ordeal in China soon.)

Exactly a year ago, I was very active in a gay community website (that's where I met my boyfriend, we've been chatmates later--- that's another story anyway. For two weeks I'm waiting for him to contact me; still no news from him). All I could see in the forums are gays looking for sex. Everytime somebody sends me message on my profile, it's all about meeting up and having the damn thing. Anyway, my point is, happiness is very diffrent in meeting sexual needs. Aside from the risks, I daresay having multiple sex partners would not make me happy.

Everytime I think of a gay relationship, this picture comes to my mind.

This is just a scene in a Korean gay movie, No Regret. No need to explain, the picture really shows how happy they are with each other.

Here's another pic. These are Tiggah and Pooh from California. Tiggah maintains a blog, Tiggah's Life in Random. These lovely couple would be celebrating their 6th year anniversary by the end of the month (I wish them all the good things; I know their relationship will be strong and will last). Personally I admire them. When I see them together, I know they're really happy with each other. Somehow, I envy them ---- I used to have that kind of smile before, but now I lost it.

Some gays have already surrendered, and believe that a true relationship cannot be achieved. But because of Tiggah and Pooh, my faith in love got stronger. And I know, everybody deserves to be loved and needs to love. One day, I'll post that same kind of picture here. I promise!

Happy Birthday to me. It's not everyday a gay boy turns 21.

****(I love Tiggah's blog. Aside from my favorite blogs link, here's another one: Tiggah's Life in Random
Pictures are taken from Tiggah's Flickr.)

Tidbits

MAP OF BONES. These few days, I'm busying myself reading a novel by James Rollins. The "Map of Bones" is indeed a spectacular array of science, history and religion. My first reaction upon reading few chapters of it is to compare it to Dan Brown's Angels and Demons. The print, the font and even the page layout are quite similar to Dan Brown's. But as I peered more to the story, it seemed Rollin's exciting novel surpasses that of the other. The characters are portrayed more human; they have emotions, and act as humans, not just knowledgeable scientists or professors. All the same, both of them have their own merits. Rollin's novel had not only just covered modern Europe but most of the ancient world to the vast Roman empire to the dominion of Christianity.
Map of Bones, started in an evening cathedral massacre in Cologne, Germany, involves the joint forces of the United States' Sigma Force and the intellegentsia of the Vatican; more like an entwinement of military logic, science and of course, religion. As different forces interplay with each other, traitors are revealed and twists of the story unfold. It's magnificent and exciting.

*****

FORMULA 17. When I was starting this blog, I always wanted to make a review of the Taiwanese movie Formula 17. The story not only just reflects my desire for a true and meaningful gay relationship, more so, it made me think of the larger possibilities of living as a gay. "Love is an act of faith" --- the sacred belief of Chou T'ien-Tsai . One of the parts I always remember from this movie is the conversation of Tony Yang with the "Beastman". He argues that having sex without love makes us level with animals, and his date agreed with him by saying, "That's why I'm called the Beastman." Anyway, one cannot miss the cuteness of the hunk, Duncan Lai, referred as Bai, Playboy No. 1. It's playboy-meets-conservative gay story. Thrilling enough? I suggest you watch it. Makes you think gay love is just the same as heterosexual relationship.

*****

AMPALAYA. My friend emailed this to me yesterday. Hmmmm.... ampalaya is really bitter. Who's bitter anyway? Though I was hoping the Red Warriors or the Cute Blue Eagles will win, still congrats to the Green Archers.

Wow,
those ** Philippines marketing guys are geniuses;
their sticky fingers are perfectly attuned to their core market's pulse.
Krispy & Kremey Kudos,
ladies and gentlemen!

THE FLAVORS:

UE : strawberry
ATENEO : blueberry
UST : pineapple
LA SALLE : ampalaya
P.S.
no truth to the rumor that if you bite into the Green Doughnut,
you get a free punch to the back of your head c/o a Green Archer....

(and no, this is not a product endorsement; just reviews... someone beat you up to that...)

Supernaturals...

Halloween is coming! Time to share some spooky stories.

Note: The authenticity of the stories that would be mentioned here is neither confirmed nor denied by the author. It's quite spooky and it’s up to you to believe it.

When I was a kid, I was easily frightened. Maybe it's because of my strong imagination. I could still remember that our helper locked me inside the comfort room few days after we watched the yearly horror episode of Magandang Gabi Bayan. When I was locked in, flashes of the reenactments made went through my head. It was traumatic though.

The "Other" Room Residents. Last year, when I was still in college, we always have activities in a province down south. We reside in the barrio for three days a week while doing our project there. Naturally we are adopted by foster families. One of my groupmates, Eric, has the so-called "third eye". When he went inside on their foster family's house, he easily felt that there's something in there. Night came, and it's time to sleep. The father suggested that they (my groupmates) sleep on the vacant room but her daughter, Ate Jes objected. She insisted that they all sleep in the salas. The following day, Eric asked Ate Jes if the room is haunted. She said yes. She too can see the supernatural. She told him that they cannot enter the room at night; they feel that they're unwelcome there. One time, she recounted, when she was about to open the light in the room, somebody tapped her hands before she could turn on the switch. Eric and Ate Jes soon talked about the strange things in the town.

Hell-Teacher-Aswang. Ate Jes said that an "aswang" (local counterparts of vampires; only that our local ones' half-torsos could fly) in their place is a common knowledge. She said that they have a teacher in their elementary school who came from the Visayas. One time, she was visiting their local Home Technology Room when she felt that the floor is slippery. Upon looking closely, she saw it was blood. When she went to the source of it, and found out that it was in the CR. When she opened the door, she saw her teacher soaking in blood. She ran away screaming. She told Eric that her teacher confessed that she is aswang but pose no harm (?). They avoid speaking her name in the belief that upon doing so, she could hear them.(?)
One time, Eric saw a large black dog sitting with a pig. It was around 8 pm. He felt strange. When he told Ate Jes about it, she said that it was the resident-aswang.

Kapre: A Stalker. We arrived in the barrio around 7 pm from Manila. Immediately, my groupmates, three of them, still including Eric, went to the river side in the hope of interviewing a family there. When they passed the elementary school, Eric saw a huge shadow on the walls of the building as if it's following them. Then one of his companions said that he could smell patis (fish-sauce) --- it's was said that when you smell patis, a kapre is nearby. Eric didn't react; he doesn't want the two to panic. But feeling something spooky, all of them didn't need to be told not to look back and to walk fast.

There's more to that.

Barangay Hall spooks. I, together with my other two groupmates, have the misfortune of staying in the barangay hall. There have been stories about the place like a white candle floating in the air, a white man caught in a picture, things falling on the floor though nobody touched them, and also footsteps. Gladly I wasn't able to experience anything there. My groupmate told me that when he went to the comfort room around 2 am, he felt something cold, really cold. He immediately ran back to the hall.

Well, the only spooky I saw there is my teacher, an old gay, singing and dancing in the middle of the night while taking a bath in the poso wearing only his underwear. ;p

Whew... in the coming days I’ll update you with other Halloween stories and articles. You could also send me yours if you want to and I’ll post them here.

After days of deafening silence, I'm back...

hey guys, i'm really sorry if I wasn't able to post new articles since October 2. It's been the longest silent period of my blog. anyway, i'll be posting more these coming days. Thank you for your continued support.

macky

My Knight in Distress

It's my only wish --- to find the guy who will love me for who I am, to love him and be with him til the moment this life pass into another world; to share with him my life and to be his forever...

***

I haven't heard anything from my boyfriend for almost a week now. The last email I received from him caused me distress. He was told that he'll be back here in the Philippines weeks after his arranged marriage have been cancelled by the other party. But he was deceived. When the plane landed at Hong Kong, he thought he'll be flying to Manila, but his connecting flight was meant to bring him to Guangzhou instead. From there he was taken by a Chinese guy, and he spent the night at their house. When he woke up the next morning, he discovered that somebody went over his things and had stolen his laptop. Later that day, somebody fetched him and they rode a bus going to Shenzhen. He was told that he'll not be able to return here unless he'll pay his debt (I don't know how did he incurred this debt; it's really dubious). According to this guy, all of these are his dad's orders.

I'm very much worried how these guys will force my boyfriend to pay this "debt". I cannot sleep at night properly because I cannot stop myself imagining his condition there. Nightmares start to haunt my sleep now.

I have sent him an email, and he haven't replied yet.

I'm now praying that God will bring him back here safely, that He'll protect him from any harm or abuse. Up to now, I'm still waiting...

Even a dose of alcohol can't conquer grief...

Unmoved by it all... As I look at the glass of the blue alcohol, I long that it this knock me off from the consciousness that kills me. Grief, it seems, makes me invincible from its effects.

I long to sleep. A dreamless sleep, so I can escape from worrying and thinking.
I'm in pain! And I cannot escape it. I cannot question myself why I'm loving; but it is from loving that I'm vulnerable to this pain.I want to run. Away from myself. I'm full of worries, grief, and sadness... I'm a failure...I'm in a trap and I cannot escape.

Pain and grief is overcoming me... It's overwhelming... like a poison that drowns me. If these continue, my mask, a facade of happiness and contentment, will reveal my true self--- a lover, a caring friend, a gay.